It is extremely discouraging to become aware of how many churches steadfastly refuse to deal with this issue. One hears repeated examples of church leaders either being the abuser themselves or covering up abusers or refusing to remove abusers from influential positions. This phenomenon crosses all denominational, geographical, and generational lines. Church leaders are intimidated by abusers with wealth or power or influence.
Or, the problem in a church may be as simple as a lack of education, resulting in leaders being completely unaware and insensitive to the issues victims face and causing further trauma and heartache to an already fearful and insecure survivor.
If you're a youth director or pastor reading this, PLEASE inform yourself about this issue (and it takes more than reading one magazine article). Large church buildings desperately need to be more secure - lock up unused wings, employ hall monitors, put up cameras. Obviously I'm no expert on building safety, but SOMEBODY needs to take up the cause.
Pastors, figure out a way to sponsor sexual violence and abuse support groups - legally. Some of you are staring at half-empty congregations, week after week. You may find your flock growing if you'll start addressing the needs of this group, which unfortunately is larger than you want to believe.
If you don't want to say anything, fine - instead consider this: You have no idea the power behind simply displaying a brochure in your lobby tract rack - with phone numbers for victims to call for help. This easily sends two messages: 1) To the victim - "We care about you and want to see you get help." 2) To a perpetrator - "We will not cover for you here - we will expose you for the protection of our people."
Youth directors, you have a vital job - you have influence over so many more people than I do. Set up a standard operating procedure for Sunday School teachers / leaders to follow when a young person confides that he/she has been raped or abused (and the FIRST rule should be -
"DO NOT ASK, 'What were you wearing?'") . Teen-age guys and girls should be trained in how to flirt with each other - without crossing the line into sexual harassment. Insist that when participants must break from your group activities, they always leave in two's. And understand the symptoms of sexual abuse - it may well be exactly the thing that has created your "problem kids". Learn about post traumatic stress disorder. You see, when you didn't sleep at all last night due to nightmares and flashbacks, it's kinda' hard to react maturely to every situation in youth group - especially when you're only fifteen. I'm not advocating suspending discipline for bad behavior. But I'm pleading for you to exercise compassion and sensitivity in discipline with the parents and child. More of a, "How can I help you overcome this destructive pattern?" instead of the harsh, "You've got to change . . . IMMEDIATELY! or we don't want you here."
Pastors and youth directors - you have the resources in Ephesians 6:11-18 to deal with this! The devil is wreaking havoc on our future generation through sexual abuse and violence. I beg you to embrace the responsibility God commissioned for you and reach out to these battered sheep silently screaming for your help.
