You sit around in a group with everybody talking about their problems. You throw in a comment or two about your "normal" problems.
But the question nags at you: What if they knew? What if I told them my REAL problem? Would they run? Would they stop sitting with me at lunch? Would they blame it on me? Would they ask me a tacky question? Could I stand that? Would I break down in front of everybody?
Then that cloud descends on you, and you feel your smile fade - depression, and sadness flood in on you. You feel so alone. How can you take this all by yourself?
Part of this goes back to fear. (Remember when we talked about fear?) Only this is not fear of physical safety, this is fear of social rejection. You're afraid that if your secret becomes common knowledge, everyone will disappear.
Well, I can guarantee you one thing. Somebody already knows it all - everything about your deep dark secret. Remember when we talked about God being omnipresent? He's present everywhere. Well, there's another big word for God: omniscient. That means He knows everything. "O LORD, Thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising; Thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, Thou knowest it altogether." (Psalm 139:1-4)
You may say, "Right. Sure. So THAT must be why God has disappeared from my life too." But He hasn't - even if you can't see Him working for you or if you can't feel His presence. Because immediately after talking about how deeply God knows you, the Psalmist goes on to say - "Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid Thine hand upon me." (Psalm 139:5) Does that sound like Someone who's running away from you?
And there's more - "Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?" (Psalm 139:7) So, you can't get away from God even if YOU'RE the one running away from HIM! "If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, Thou are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me;' even the night shall be light about me." (Psalm 139:8-11)
God is forever committed to His children, no matter what. If you're a Christian, you may feel lonely, but the fact is - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Don't lie to yourself. Keep telling yourself the truth.
