What makes it exciting? Well, for one thing, something inside tells you that, when you make it through four years there, you will graduate a different person - because of all you'll learn and the experiences you'll have. All the new ideas and knowledge will push you to grow.
The knowledge you get at college is, generally speaking, a positive thing, as it prepares you for a productive career.
Unfortunately, negative experiences force us to a depth of knowledge, also - knowledge we never wanted to bear. There's a nagging awareness in us - that knowledge brings responsibility, and we don't want that.
Did you know that doctors and nurses are obligated to stop and help accident victims or others experiencing physical trauma? It's because their specialized knowledge prepares them to help as noone else can. I'm sure there have been times that a doctor, while taking his wife out for a relaxing meal, has been interrupted to rescue a choking victim when he didn't really feel like being "on duty." His knowledge brings added responsibility.
Someday, you'll be stronger than you are today. You aren't ready for this yet, but in the future you will be helping someone else because of what you've gone through. Don't pressure yourself, but begin to think, "Where can I go with this - eventually? How can I turn these burdens into a benefit? How have other people handled this?"
Brainstorm ideas for how, if you could change anything, you would make the world better for rape/sexual abuse victims. What might have prevented your disaster? What would have made things easier for you after it happened? Probably you will finally land on some specific, do-able ideas that someone who had never made this journey couldn't discover. And there will come a time when your thoughts can actually make a difference. Make plans to clear the way for that day to come. Prepare for your turn, AFTER you get better, to help.
Jesus didn't want the responsibility and horror of the cross - He said, "Father (God), if Thou be willing, remove this cup" (dying on the cross) "from Me: . . . " (Luke 22:42) But how thankful we are that He allowed Himself the suffering! His torture and agony gave HOPE - to a WHOLE WORLD through out all the ages.
Let your life and your recovery bring hope - Jesus will help you.
"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." (Romans 15:13)
