And you've probably caught on, too, that, in general, people just don't want to feel uncomfortable. So, if your struggles or unintentional reactions are spilling over into their well-ordered worlds, they're forced to try to "file you away" somehow.
And a common way to accomplish that is to find a way to shine the spotlight of criticism on you and shut you down from bothering them. However painful this is for you, I'm gonna' propose that their intention is not to purposely hurt you - it is to find a way to go on living their own lives, without "obstacles."
Remember when we talked about being able to "pull back" yourself and "re-group"? We talked about communicating clearly that you need some "alone time" and "space to breathe". It could be, that when someone who cares about you descends into criticism of you, they don't really mean to criticize you. They may really mean, "I need a break. It's very painful for me to watch your pain 'cause I love you. I just need to rest a little while." They just haven't figured out themselves that's what's really going on. They may not know how to say it.
Maybe if someone who loves you makes a snide remark to you, you could say, "Are you really trying to say you need a break? Do you just want me to chill out at home for now and you can call me tomorrow?" Then that gives them the opportunity to either apologize or to agree with you, thereby communicating in a clearer way. And that will make a stronger relationship, which is good for both of you.
I know this is really hard for you, 'cause your feelings are so raw, but you have to give other people the freedom to have a bad day. It's gonna' happen, and you will cause yourself less trauma if you will let them have some breathing room. Force yourself to think, "It's not about me - they've got their own issues to work through right now."
And don't be afraid - turn off your panic button! Just go back to your own relaxation tricks. Tell yourself, "It's o.k. I am a special person. God made me a blessing to other people," and then go do something YOU like to do.
And know - that always, God is the PERFECT friend. He never gets weak or tired of you. He never wants a break from you - He wants to be with you ALL THE TIME. God doesn't criticize you - "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1) God loves you deeply and perfectly - "The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy: He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
God delights in everything about you - He intentionally MADE you the way you are! "My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth." (Psalm 139:15)
Walk tall, 'cause GOD IS WITH YOU!
