"What about my privacy?"

Let's say you're five years old and you've painstakingly and proudly built an elaborate castle with your blocks. Then, a 5'9" bully with a smirk on his face comes along and smashes your castle to the ground, and starts taking your blocks away.

What do you do?

Well, in addition to throwing a fit, you frantically scramble to protect as many blocks as you can - in hopes of possibly re-building your castle in peace.

That's kinda' where you're at with your privacy. Your "castle" was smashed by a bully and you're desperately snatching chances to re-gain what is personally yours. How can you do that?

First of all, every survivor will be different in what they need to re-build their privacy. Your needs in this area will be different from another victim's needs that you know. Noone else will know what you need or when you need it. So we're back to communication. You must figure out, "What is bothering me about this situation? What would make me feel better?" and then ask for it nicely.

You may have to ask your gym teacher, "Is there a place I can dress out in private?" Or, in the planning stages of a trip, you could say, "I'll pay extra if I can have my own room." Or, you may need to tell a friend, "I just don't feel like talking about that right now. Can we talk about something else?" At a slumber party, you can say, "I'll wait to change in the bathroom." Or if a friend wants to follow you into the mall dressing room, you can say, "Look, I have this thing about being in a dressing room by myself. I'll come out and show you the outfit when I get it on."

It's no surprise that you're sensitive in this area. And this is repititious, I know, but you are under no obligation to explain the reasons why you need extra privacy. If someone tries to force you to "confess", you just say, "Well, that's private. I'm just asking for some extra help, that's all." And do your best not to sound angry or defensive or sarcastic. The person may say no to your request, and you may have to end up asking someone else. That's o.k. - keep trying - respectfully and kindly, though persistently.

Keep remembering - Jesus has a heart for re-building what has been torn down. His heart is for you. Jesus was talking about Himself when He said, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He (God) hath anointed Me (Jesus) to preach the gospel to the poor; He hath sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, . . . " (Luke 4:18).