I believe that when people say this, they aren't really saying what they mean. I think what they really mean is, "Wow. I've never watched or listened to anger this deep and intense and it scares me." I believe that when someone loves you and sees you so distraught, it upsets them and they just want everything to be fine again . . . NOW! They honestly care about you and they want to see you happy, not devastated. And, since they don't know what else to do or say, they think they can snap you back to being o.k. by throwing out something that it seems like you can actually DO something about.
But here's the facts - YOU WILL BE ANGRY, REAL ANGRY.
If you're not right now, you'll get there, sooner or later. In a way, anger is necessary and good. You see, if you don't get angry, you're probably denying to yourself what really happened - and denial can end up being a bad thing. Also, anger is active and energizing and you'll be more likely to be driven to make some positive improvements in your situation if you're angry about it. Another thing - if you don't get angry, you're likelier to fall into patterns of non-resistance to future victimizations.
In fact, in the generally known and accepted stages of grief, anger is one of the "steps": 1) Denial: "It didn't happen," or, "It doesn't really matter." 2) Anger: "I will get them back if it's the LAST thing I do." 3) Bargaining: "If I do thus and so, everything's gonna' be like it was before." 4) Depression: "Nothing's working, so I'll just give up." 5) Acceptance: "I don't want this, but I'm gonna' be o.k. - eventually."
These are stages you'll feel yourself go through. Sometimes, you get stuck in one stage a long time. But, you'll know - you're better off than you were last year at this time.
God even gives you permission to be angry: "BE YE ANGRY" (Ephesians 4:26) - but He issues a warning: "and sin not." It's all in what you do with your anger. That's the key. USE your anger for good!
One time I was so angry I knew I was fixing to "be bad" because of it, so I painted my shed in the back yard. I was STILL angry, so I painted the outside of my house. For several years afterward, I would look at my house and my shed and know - something positive came out of my negative experience.
Get together with a group of kids who've told you they were raped, read a rape recovery book together and discuss it. Offer to drive a fellow victim to the rape crisis center for counseling. Schedule a meeting with your principal and request added security in the school hallways and rest rooms. Go out for the football team.
Trust me - you can get SO MUCH done when you're angry!
